Wednesday, August 1, 2012
And so it ends...
So this is the end of my blog. But definitely not the end of my healthy journey. I have learned some great disciplines in the course of my studies and will continue to grow. My blog, however, has found me with much regret. I didn't enjoy sharing my thoughts publicly. I think most of my writing are meant for myself and sharing it with others feel invasive. Being forced to write my discoveries was another feeling entirely. I loved having to reflect on my progress and search for alternative ways to thrive. Again, I just didn't enjoy the vulnerability sharing my thoughts brought. Not to mention I felt like a school girl waiting to be picked with the commenting piece. On the other end of that, as well, I really enjoyed reading my peers words. So many of my classmates had wonderful things to write and really empowering teachings. All in all I stand divided on my blog experience, sure of only one thing---my blogging days are done.
"I Do"
As I get older and turn the corner of my life where marriage is nearing, I sit back and wonder if it's still possible. The institute of marriage is continually questioned and I suppose it comes down to personal belief. Call me old school (and my boyfriend certainly does), but I believe that marriage is serious, it's a vow of forever commitment, and it should be constantly and openly discussed. Without the communication of marriage how else can you determine your spouse or better yet, what you want? Certainly a big key to a successful marriage is finding someone who shares the same views as you, right? Or compliments your unpolished assets? What ever you deem important to a successful marriage, you have to learn it somewhere. For me, it was learning what NOT to do by watching the relationships around me and turning to others in the world who could tell me what TO do. Both have been valuable lessons thus far.
However, finding someone who has been married for more than 20 years has become more difficult as the years go on. Forget about married for 50 years. But, I don't let that bring me down and I am always looking for advice from the people who have been there and done it. Browsing through news sources, I came across an interview done by CBS: of couples who have been married for 50 plus years. I think Grace put it perfectly:
“There’s gotta be great chemistry between people. You have to learn how to compromise within a relationship. You gotta be able to communicate appropriately,” 85-year-old Grace Lewis told CBS News, New York earlier this year.
Compromise, understanding, listening. Theses are key elements to a healthy relationship and definitely a sustainable marriage. I recall an episode of Oprah, many years back, when a woman was interviewed for a Valentine's Day special. This woman (I have forgotten her name) had been happily married to her husband for 60-some-odd years. Impressive. When Oprah asked how she had made it work she simply replied with:
"When I married my husband I vowed to always love him. Part of this meant I would make a list of 3 things he did (to annoy me) to roll off my shoulder."
"What were these 3 things?"
"I don't remember. They change every day."
Her answer was simple and brilliant. Her biggest success came from loving him for who he was, respecting him, and like everyone else- compromising.
I understand throughout any relationship there are struggles. We deal with them everyday. With parents, friends, co-workers. But why when it comes to romantic relationship we can't seem to work things out?
However, finding someone who has been married for more than 20 years has become more difficult as the years go on. Forget about married for 50 years. But, I don't let that bring me down and I am always looking for advice from the people who have been there and done it. Browsing through news sources, I came across an interview done by CBS: of couples who have been married for 50 plus years. I think Grace put it perfectly:
“There’s gotta be great chemistry between people. You have to learn how to compromise within a relationship. You gotta be able to communicate appropriately,” 85-year-old Grace Lewis told CBS News, New York earlier this year.
Compromise, understanding, listening. Theses are key elements to a healthy relationship and definitely a sustainable marriage. I recall an episode of Oprah, many years back, when a woman was interviewed for a Valentine's Day special. This woman (I have forgotten her name) had been happily married to her husband for 60-some-odd years. Impressive. When Oprah asked how she had made it work she simply replied with:
"When I married my husband I vowed to always love him. Part of this meant I would make a list of 3 things he did (to annoy me) to roll off my shoulder."
"What were these 3 things?"
"I don't remember. They change every day."
Her answer was simple and brilliant. Her biggest success came from loving him for who he was, respecting him, and like everyone else- compromising.
I understand throughout any relationship there are struggles. We deal with them everyday. With parents, friends, co-workers. But why when it comes to romantic relationship we can't seem to work things out?
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
This One Is For All The Kids
I dedicate this post to all the children, especially those 7th graders struggling with self-worth, as I once was.
Allow me to begin with these simple words we should all say to ourselves each day: You are worthwhile. You are special. You are loved. You are only you.
Growing up can be the most challenging feat in the world. We encounter obstacles, we make discoveries (good and bad), and we fill our life with events (also good and bad). According to "Psychology Today" having low self-worth or self-esteem can lead to depression, lack of potential, and acceptance or toleration of abusive relationships.
If I were to teach a class to young children on the importance of self-worth I'd certainly come across the same challenges I'm having now. I think, ultimately, the lesson would include finding faith in yourself and/or a spiritual being. But since I lack the creativity to truly empower self-worth, I leave you with two people who can:
A children's story about never giving up and not allowing bullies to damage your spirit:
A young girl who found joy in the simplest of things and made a point to remind herself everyday:
I hope, this blog put a smile on your face if even for a second.
Allow me to begin with these simple words we should all say to ourselves each day: You are worthwhile. You are special. You are loved. You are only you.
Growing up can be the most challenging feat in the world. We encounter obstacles, we make discoveries (good and bad), and we fill our life with events (also good and bad). According to "Psychology Today" having low self-worth or self-esteem can lead to depression, lack of potential, and acceptance or toleration of abusive relationships.
If I were to teach a class to young children on the importance of self-worth I'd certainly come across the same challenges I'm having now. I think, ultimately, the lesson would include finding faith in yourself and/or a spiritual being. But since I lack the creativity to truly empower self-worth, I leave you with two people who can:
A children's story about never giving up and not allowing bullies to damage your spirit:
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Let's get real for a moment and share stress factors. My biggest stress is, honestly, myself. Before you run away thinking I'm crazy, allow me to explain.
For myself, when stuck in traffic my mind begins to wander. At first it's just about why there might be traffic and how long it might take me to get to my destination. After shortly realizing there is nothing I can do about the traffic, I start to think about my day and what I will be doing, what must get done, and how little time there is left in the day....especially now that I'm stuck in traffic. This quickly spins into a laundry list of chores, errands, activities, and life events that I must accomplish (now that I'm stuck thinking about it) immediately. This became very overwhelming. And coming down from such a whirlwind of thoughts never seems to be an easy task.
So, believe-you-me I was overjoyed when in class last week we learned a stress-relieving exercise called Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). Simply, the process clears your mind and muscles as you "progressively" tighten and relax muscles in your body. Not fully knowing the perfect technique to this process I started practicing this during my traffic hours of the day. I start with my hands. Clench them. Hold it tight. Release them. Whew! Step one and I was already feeling more focused and calm. I continued this tense and release all the way down to my toes. The simple concentration on my body and ensuring I was relaxed was wonderful.
More recently, I've researched some perfect techniques and have learned for best results I should take off my shoes and allow my feet to really stretch. Also, by starting with my dominate side I'll feel a more immediate release of stress. I definitely recommend we all take a moment to find a favorite process of relieving stress; and if you need a place to get started, here are some helpful tips from Help Guide- Stress:
Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see the box below.
For myself, when stuck in traffic my mind begins to wander. At first it's just about why there might be traffic and how long it might take me to get to my destination. After shortly realizing there is nothing I can do about the traffic, I start to think about my day and what I will be doing, what must get done, and how little time there is left in the day....especially now that I'm stuck in traffic. This quickly spins into a laundry list of chores, errands, activities, and life events that I must accomplish (now that I'm stuck thinking about it) immediately. This became very overwhelming. And coming down from such a whirlwind of thoughts never seems to be an easy task.
So, believe-you-me I was overjoyed when in class last week we learned a stress-relieving exercise called Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR). Simply, the process clears your mind and muscles as you "progressively" tighten and relax muscles in your body. Not fully knowing the perfect technique to this process I started practicing this during my traffic hours of the day. I start with my hands. Clench them. Hold it tight. Release them. Whew! Step one and I was already feeling more focused and calm. I continued this tense and release all the way down to my toes. The simple concentration on my body and ensuring I was relaxed was wonderful.
More recently, I've researched some perfect techniques and have learned for best results I should take off my shoes and allow my feet to really stretch. Also, by starting with my dominate side I'll feel a more immediate release of stress. I definitely recommend we all take a moment to find a favorite process of relieving stress; and if you need a place to get started, here are some helpful tips from Help Guide- Stress:
Practicing progressive muscle relaxation
Before practicing Progressive Muscle Relaxation, consult with your doctor if you have a history of muscle spasms, back problems, or other serious injuries that may be aggravated by tensing muscles.Most progressive muscle relaxation practitioners start at the feet and work their way up to the face. For a sequence of muscle groups to follow, see the box below.
- Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable.
- Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.
- When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels.
- Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
- Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
- Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
- When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
- Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you go.
- It may take some practice at first, but try not to tense muscles other than those intended.
My Love Language
For this post I've taken an assessment to discover my love language on http://www.5lovelanguages.com/. The assessment is a series of 30 statements to which you pick the one you feel is most true. After just a few minutes my score was revealed! (Ta-Da!)
Here's the outcome:
8 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
2 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch
Here's the outcome:
8 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
2 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch
| The higher numbers represent the categories I value most in relationships; where as the lower numbers have less significance to me. Overall, my scores were as I thought they'd be. But, let me tell you... the statements leading to my scores were quite tough!! As my scores show, when it came to statements about receiving gifts I was always certain the second statement was more true. However, I never thought I'd have such a hard time prioritizing between statements containing physical touch or words of affirmation. And THEN when I did choose the statement regarding affirmation I found myself shocked to learn I need that in my relationships. Is it common to want appreciation as much as a hug every once in while? Of course my relationships thrive on quality time, but the other two (words of affirmation and physical touch) round out my perfect love language. Huh. I will say though, before taking the test I had seen results posted from peers and knew, when it was my turn to partake in this assessment, quality time would be number one. I always crave a day off, with errands and chores already done, so I can spend quality time with, well, anyone! My dog, my boyfriend, my neighbor, family, or friends. (Yes, my dog is first on my list. Crazy dog lady.) All-in-all, this was a great reflecting process. Perhaps, (just because my boyfriend and I joke if match.com would have put us together) I'll have him take the assessment along with close friends and family to see if my relationships reach new levels of understanding and compassion. It's such a simple process, but there is so much to be discovered! |
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
"Food Inc." And My Thoughts
Just last week in class I had the opportunity to watch "Food Inc". Please take note that I chose to write opportunity and not pleasure. Allow me to forewarn those wishing to watch said film: this is not for the light hearted or easily queased stomach. There were many parts of "Food Inc" where I found myself with plugged ears, closed eyes, and focusing on my breathing. (Maybe I'm just a wuss...)
Aside from the grotesque images left in my head, there were a lot of eye-opening moments in "Food Inc.". Bliss my be ignorance but knowledge is healthy, especially in this film. My biggest take-away was how natural and untouched soy beans are almost exstinct. Large companies have genetically modified them to grow strong against the product "Round-Up". Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset by the concept of finding ways to mass produce any product...it's the process that concerns me. Similar is the mass producing of cattle, pork, and chicken. In order to achieve such a standard, corporations feed these animals a host of antibiotics. This, in turn, makes us more immune to the same antibiotics. So, what do we do? Well, first, "Food Inc.", while a little rough around the edges it may be, gives consumers the information they need to make change. It starts simply by purchasing products produced more naturally and demands that we encourage communication/support in how our food is prepared.
It's kind of a pickle, don't you think? We must find a way to mass produce food but forgo the additives. Maybe it's an idealistic view but nothing is impossible until all avenues are exhausted.
Aside from the grotesque images left in my head, there were a lot of eye-opening moments in "Food Inc.". Bliss my be ignorance but knowledge is healthy, especially in this film. My biggest take-away was how natural and untouched soy beans are almost exstinct. Large companies have genetically modified them to grow strong against the product "Round-Up". Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset by the concept of finding ways to mass produce any product...it's the process that concerns me. Similar is the mass producing of cattle, pork, and chicken. In order to achieve such a standard, corporations feed these animals a host of antibiotics. This, in turn, makes us more immune to the same antibiotics. So, what do we do? Well, first, "Food Inc.", while a little rough around the edges it may be, gives consumers the information they need to make change. It starts simply by purchasing products produced more naturally and demands that we encourage communication/support in how our food is prepared.
It's kind of a pickle, don't you think? We must find a way to mass produce food but forgo the additives. Maybe it's an idealistic view but nothing is impossible until all avenues are exhausted.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Me in 6 words... kind of.
For this blog, my challenge was to describe myself in 6 words (through the website http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/). I'm not the most innovative person, so attempting to pull six words out of thin air to create some clever phrase was nothing short of a task. I, silly enough, became self conscious of how my (lack of) wit compared to other authors on this website. The 6-word phrase of the day was "Oh no! I've outlived my teeth!" Come on!! That's clever. The remaining list of top phrases had me chuckling and searching for my own six words.
The process brought me to these final words: Willing to try. Prepared to succeed.
Oddly enough (and I suppose like many web browsing enthusiasts) my journey didn't end there. Next I wanted to see what my 6-words meant to the online world. Google time! As of now, I've spent countless minutes browsing through words of wisdom on success. At the end of journey, with eyes burning from spending too much time in front of a screen, I am touched most by this newly found quote: “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” — Herman Cain.
True that, Herman Cain! Happiness, but I suppose more importantly- passion, really is the key to success. Heck, I don't know one time I dragged my feet through a project, cursing the project Gods along the way, where I came out truly successful. Sure I got the job done, but are they equivalent?
...Some thoughts to ponder as I conclude my day.
The process brought me to these final words: Willing to try. Prepared to succeed.
Oddly enough (and I suppose like many web browsing enthusiasts) my journey didn't end there. Next I wanted to see what my 6-words meant to the online world. Google time! As of now, I've spent countless minutes browsing through words of wisdom on success. At the end of journey, with eyes burning from spending too much time in front of a screen, I am touched most by this newly found quote: “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” — Herman Cain.
True that, Herman Cain! Happiness, but I suppose more importantly- passion, really is the key to success. Heck, I don't know one time I dragged my feet through a project, cursing the project Gods along the way, where I came out truly successful. Sure I got the job done, but are they equivalent?
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